With all the information out there regarding Covid-19 I feel like this platform can be most useful for (1) reporting on the under-reported stories; (2) reflection on social responses; and (3) point readers to what I find are the best resources amidst the crisis.
In that spirit. Here is what has my attention today.
My parents were still shopping and not ordering groceries online or accepting offers from neighbors to get groceries for them a mere two weeks ago. My father is 82 with occasional high blood pressure. My mother is 76 with asthma.
I was livid with what I viewed as cavalier behavior regarding their own health. I had a weird sense of role reversal as I scolded them like the parent of a know-it-all-I-feel-invincible-teenager might. But under that anger I know there was sadness, grief, and fear.
Sadness as anyone who has to contemplate losing one or both parents might feel. But in addition to that, the real worry that if something didn’t happen, that the usual rituals of mourning and honoring the dead—key parts of the healing process after loss—would be unavailable to me. Among many things Covid-19 has taken from us, it is the opportunity to grieve together in traditional ways.
As for my fear, well I was terrified really—terrified and frustrated at my own helplessness. Helpless is a feeling I think a lot of us are dealing with. I know it’s irrational but I (along with other friends trained in public health) as much as we feel some gratitude for our training and tools which allow us to be a service at this time, there is likely an unhealthy sense of personal responsibility. Part of this is our common neurosis within helping professions, our desire to “save the world.” But it’s more acute than usual. As many of my friends grapple with even our own family members who might not be taking the outbreak seriously, we turn to self recrimination: did I not provide them enough information? Was I not clear enough about the risks? Was I not forceful enough, should I have raised my voice more/less? If I can’t “save” my family, what good am I?
But a lot of this second guessing is based on the premise that we’re a lot more “powerful” than we really are. As I should remember from my public health program, you can provide all the information in the world, but that doesn’t necessarily mean people will make healthy choices.
Sigh.
That said, here are the guidelines for safe shopping in the age of Covid-19.[1] Spoiler alert: if you don’t have to, don’t. If you do have to, order what you can online so your trip to the store and up and down the aisles is short as possible. That classic harm reduction principles.
Be kind. This is a triathlon, not a sprint.
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[1] Readers old enough will remember when the term “safe sex,” seemed novel.